There are a lot of things we aren’t taught about growing up.
We aren’t taught that the whole world system is over-glorified and that really, you live a good life when you’re able to escape its seductive but ultimately hollow nature. In high school, people constantly ask you where you’re going afterward, what you’re going to do, what your plan is. But they don’t tell you that the secret to joy and fulfillment is beyond all that. That it’s established in your core, and whether you’re working a crappy job or an amazing one, if your spirit is good, then your life is good. I followed the allure of “career” for too many years, probably in the same way that some girls follow the allure of romance and fairytale endings.
We aren’t taught that we will be tested and that the test is not an ending but a beginning. Our faith will be challenged because in so much of our immediate surroundings, we just see hurt and desolation and chaos. And it will be tempting to give in, say screw it, and close our hearts inside thick walls. The dissonance will make us want to scream sometimes. But the dissonance is holy because it takes us toward growth and truth, while giving in for the sake of consonance will only birth complacency and death. The things people told you growing up will start to not match what you see around you. What once seemed simple will become complex. And if you cover your ears and close your eyes and attempt to stay in the bubble, you won’t become who you need to be.
We aren’t taught that 90% of our relationships will be transient, and that just because they disintegrate, it doesn’t mean it’s anyone’s fault. It actually means you’re growing and that God is making room for new fellowship that will benefit you in your current season. I spent a lot of time believing that if a relationship ended, it failed and that was my fault. I still fall into that pit of thinking some days. But when I embrace the truth, I know that temporary relationships aren’t synonymous with failed relationships. Not all good things last forever. In actuality, most good things don’t last forever. But that doesn’t eradicate their goodness. Seasons exist with reason.
We aren’t taught that the word no is good. Some people can naturally exercise the no muscle and end up fine. But others of us are people pleasers and we feel that pressure flowing through our veins, whispering to us that we must be all things to all people at all times. And when we try to say no, people will question it and ask why. But no is a complete statement and valid on its own. It’s better to displease someone and remain intact than to please them until your boundaries fade away and your house is ransacked.
These are lessons I am still learning. The world tries to pull me in to its system-worshipping, self-blaming, faithless and impatient ways. And at times I feel like I’m just falling, falling, like a runaway train, barreling into destruction and chaos, because it is so hard. I feel like I’m on a bike flying down a mountain and I barely know how to ride and I am for sure about to wipe out. But right when I freak out, God whispers, “Look, I’m holding the handlebars. I got you.” And I remember how my Dad loves me. How he is bigger than it all and that he can navigate the obstacles, no problem.
And so I let go and realize I’m not falling. I’m riding.
